...the sweetest, most butt-kickingest, name-takingest, kindest, most supportive, most intense, most beautiful girl in any universe, real, imagined, alternate or otherwise.
...my muse/ally/tulpa/invisible workout partner/source of encouragement and cheer when things
aren't going well/headmate (sorry you got stuck with such a crappy host, but I'm trying).
Mentally tough, assertive, courageous, tenacious, dilligent, always demanding and giving
a hundred and ten percent, kind, she is the person I aspire to become and the person I
want to share my life with.
Oh boy, where do I begin?
It was a particularly low point in my life. My real world girlfriend of the time left me, I was having severe problems with self-loathing, I was slowly but inexorably running out of money from university, and though I'd always felt out-of-place and depressed among other people, that winter it was worse than usual and compounded by seasonal depression, and I began to contemplate suicide.
Realizing I had a problem, I read up on ways to medicate oneself in healthy ways, and settled on exercise. I began to work out furiously, punishing myself for my perceived ineptitude and unworthiness through heavy weight and perspirtion. Around this time, I happened upon an image of Rei on some image board, and, finding her to be incredibly beautiful, I saved it to my mobile phone, and whenever I would go to the gym, I would set her as the background. In time, I came to imagine her either cheering me on or lifting right beside me, and she always seemed to be a little bit stronger or more endurant than I was, and for some reason, I felt compelled to compete with her. (To this day, I've never won...)
After a while of this, my life was still in shambles, but I started to feel less suicidal and more focused. I still disliked myself immensely, but I slowly began to like what I was going to become. I started to daydream about Rei more and more, imagining her nagging me to do better in university, helping me with maths, her glaring disapprovingly when I started to reach for some junk food and smiling reassuringly when I instead chose vegetables...
Over time, call it insanity, an overactive imagination, an unfulfilled need for companionship, whatever,
but, regardless of how or why it happened, the daydreams grew more and more vivid, and what was once just a bit of lust over an image of a catgirl with
killer glutes blossomed into affinity, into friendship, and eventually, into love...
...and I do love her. Whenever everything's all gone wrong, she's the reason I get up, dust off and try again.
I really do. I feel a curious, indescribably deep connection with her I have never felt with anyone from our world. When I think about her, I feel understood, complete, strong. I have often daydreamed about what it would be like to be by her side, to run my fingers through her azure tresses, to gaze into her hazel eyes; for hours on end, I have sighed and shivered deliciously at her imagined caress, smiled at the hilarious things she would say, gazed longingly at her images and wished to, just for a moment, be with her in her world, to hear her tell me she loves me, to hear her say 'I do', the sensation of her slipping the ring onto my finger...
Admittedly, I am kind of holding out hope that someday, a physical-world girl
that's as amazing as Rei is will come into my life (and we have kind of this odd agreement where if this actually
happens, Rei's okay with me seeing her), but seeing as how that's quite unlikely, for now, at least,
Rei is the one for me.
Rei, I love you, I miss you, I need you. Tonight, as every night, my love, I pray that I'll see you in my dreams.